Category Archives: Fears

QUESTIONING THE RESULTS OF YOUR DECISIONS

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Beloved,

I have been sitting here at the computer most of the day. I have
been listening to replays of teleconferences that usually inspire or
make me feel a whole lot better. I have been struggling with what
to write to you in this newsletter because I like to send you items
or news that lift your heart after giving you a little food for
thought.

Today has been such that I did not wish to speak to anyone, call
anyone, or have any interaction with anyone. Did I like it? No!!!
It is like I am frozen and it is such an effort to talk. I do not
wish to even think or consider anything at all. It is too much of
an effort. I feel like a bump on a log that does nothing but stay
still. This is a very unusual mood for me. I even went back to bed
and slept for two more hours this morning.

I had quite an awakening or should I say an AHA moment of a pattern
that I suddenly realize I have been dealing with my whole life. It
concerns loved ones who have lied to me but their excuse is: “I didn’t
lie, I just didn’t tell you the whole truth”. I have made decisions
based on the information which did not turn out the way I had hoped.
Of course, I wouldn’t be who I am now if I had not experienced the
disappointments and results of those lies. In my soul, I know that
I agreed to these before I was born YET it does not make them any
easier to bear.

I believe that I went on a journey deep inside myself today to
rationally and lovingly forgive everyone and also to forgive myself
for allowing these betrayals. I am much harder on myself than I am
on those I love, why is that? Do I not deserve to give myself as
much love as I give to others? Of course, I do but I seem to need
reminders every now and then. Sometimes I wonder if I have been
alone these past 23 years because I have not had the courage to
trust again. And yet…..we give our trust to many every day of
our life. From the safety of the food we eat to the other drivers
ion the road.

As you can see, I am very pensive and my thoughts are very deep.
I am going to add a “Heavenletter” to this newsletter which might
explain what I am trying to say through my fog today. These are the
times of deep reflection and everything that has not been released
is being brought to the surface for the final release.

God is always bringing us closer to Him.

Heavenletter #4565 A New Picture, May 25, 2013

God said:
There is a theory that everything that is written, that everything
that happens was destined to happen. Sometimes it certainly seems
this way. Not always, but sometimes, sometimes often, it appears
that two people, for instance, were fated to meet and marry,
whether the marriage works out or not. We have talked about this
before, Destiny vs. Free Will. Perhaps Free Will is your
Destiny, or Destiny is your Free Will.

Be that as it may, there is some value in thinking that what is past
was destined. Whether what happened is to your credit or to your dismay,
there is value in thinking that it was destined. Thinking that it was
destined will save you a lot of woe. Thinking that all the past was
destined makes you face the fact, without discussion, that there is
nothing you can do about it now. The concept of Destiny may keep you
out of the trap of ruing, regretting, crying about the past. The
idea of Destiny may get it through your head that there is no point
in crying over spilt milk. There is not a better way to say this
than crying over spilled milk?

How much of your time on Earth have you spent in regret and trying to
relive and remake the past? How much time have you spent carting the
past around with you when you could have gotten on with your life?
How much time have you wasted in wishing you could go back in time
and erase what passed and do it over and make it new? How you have
wanted to undo the past and say something else or say nothing or to
speak up when you had been silent?

In a way, you are a writer of your life. Unlike a writer, you can’t
rewrite. You can’t cross out.

In a way, every day you write a chapter. And when the day is over,
that particular chapter is finished. That chapter is closed. It has
to be left as it is.

Now there is something else, however. Although it makes great sense
to leave a past chapter alone, and I recommend wholeheartedly that
you not turn back, there also can be value in revisiting a chapter
that is over. Can you guess what this possible advantage of going
over an unchangeable chapter could be?

What I think of is that you may see the exact same chapter in a
different way. What you were convinced was a mistake may in a later
re-reading seem not like a mistake at all but just right. The chapter
is the same, yet you see it with new eyes. Upon this second reading,
you may not seem to be the oaf you had thought you were. Is this not
a good thing? You are not spending time agonizing over the past.
Rather, you are seeing the past in a new light! You digest it
differently, and that is all the difference in the world.

So, what if you could have the idea that not only is the past finis,
to it.

Beloveds, every chapter that is written, no matter how homely, how
winsome, how troublesome, led you to where you are today. With this
realization, would you then be so quick to knock it? A particular
chapter may have been a broken step, one you wished you had skipped,
but what if, no matter what, it was a good step because it led you
to where you are today?

Are you not indeed in a good place when My words are before you today
and you are reading them and letting them become part of you?

Permanent Link: http://www.heavenletters.org/a-new-picture.html

Thank you for including this link when publishing this Heavenletter
elsewhere.

Copyright (c) 1999-Now HeavenlettersTM
HeavenlettersTM — Helping Human Beings Come Closer to God and
Their Own Hearts
Gloria Wendroff, GodwriterTM

I want to leave you with a story and video that makes me feel
a lot more grateful and cheerful than before.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/recreation/paraplegic-mum-duct-taped-for-surfing.html

Love and Light

Mary Grace
www.IAmMaryGrace.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html

PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977

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Beloved,

Have you ever felt fear from something you thought you would love?
I was in for quite a surprise this week. Ever since I have moved
here, I have wanted a door to go onto my deck that was all glass so
I would have an ever better view of the lake. I have a bow window in
my living room that overlooks the lake but a large portion of my
living room was wall and a solid exterior door which meant I had to
stand in front of the window to see the lake. I wanted to be able
to see the lake as I passed by into the kitchen from my office, my
spare room, my master bedroom and even the bathroom. The temperature
up here on the mountain is usually 5 degrees colder than down below.
This means I don’t get to open my exterior door for long once the
screens are in place so for most of the year, I don’t have full
view access through the door. That corner of my living room and my
view to the lake is closed.

Well, finally I ordered two exterior doors which were badly needed.
The storm doors for both doors are full glass doors so I can see
easily in the warm weather when I open the doors. One is new and
has a screen that shows up when I pull down the top part of the window.
I love these new inventions as I don’t have to remove the glass and
insert the screen twice a year. My new kitchen door is half window
and half door and it has a blind right inside the window which is so
easy to either pull up so the window is clear or I can also adjust
the blind to open or close. Both sills or thresholds had rotten wood
which I did not know about but was taken care of at the time of the
new installation.

I was so excited to finally be able to see the lake as I was passing
by the doorway to the living room. I always look as I am passing by
as I watch the birds and I can a little corner of the lake this way.
What surprised me was how I reacted each time I passed by now.
My heart would race as I automatically thought the door was open and
I felt fear. Fear that my door was open and I was not safe or
protected from anything outside. I WAS SHOCKED AT MY REACTION.

I went out one day to do yoga and do shopping and when I opened
my back door, the first thing I saw was the door to the deck
which looked open and I had a fight or flight reaction. My first
thought was that I had forgotten to close and lock the door and was
there anyone inside of my house now? My heart was pounding and I
felt real fear.

I never expected to be reacting like this and I was getting a real
opportunity to look at why I was reacting this way to my home.
I know humans do not like change but THIS is one that I had been
looking forward to for so long. In my rational mind it did not
make sense but nonetheless I was feeling fear and being unsafe.

I know I like to be in control and as doors are openings into our
inner sanctuary, I felt my safety was being threatened. Doors can
also be portals into our subconscious which is evidently where this
was coming from. I remember being told so often growing up to be
reasonable and not to react irrationally to things or events. I was
extremely “sensitive” to surroundings and other people’s feelings but
I did not realize at that time that I was an empath…a person who
feels what others are feeling. I was not aware of it for a very
long time. I know now that much of what I feel is not mine, it
belongs to the world outside of me. Was that what I was afraid of
now?…. The world outside of me that I was able to keep out with
closed doors and locks.

Being vulnerable is essential to being open to Spirit. Vulnerability
does not mean you are unsafe or unprotected, it simply means that
you are trusting in God and knowing that you are protected and
safe in this world. The opposite of fear is love and I know that
I AM loved beyond measure. The outside world gives us many
opportunities to strengthen our muscle of belief in love as it gives
us many scenarios of fear. Even my new doors were just a scenario of
fear which was only in my human mind and its ingrained habit of
perception. I was being given another chance to erase some fear that
had been buried deep within my soul. I was ready to conquer that
fear that was totally out of context. I also know that fear can
be conquered one step at a time.

Soooo….for now, I am keeping the blinds open in that door instead
of pulling them up and having them look like the door is open. I still
have butterflies in my stomach but they are coming less often and
eventually I will be able to open that full length of glass with
no reaction except joy that I can now see more of the lake and
see it more often as I am passing by.

As a side note, the day the doors were installed two white swans
came for a visit to my lake. That was so thrilling as in 16 years
I have only seen a swan once so they are rare. And…as the
contractor was replacing the sills, each threshold had a penny in it.
He said that many people do this but I have never heard of this
tradition. If you know why this was done, would you drop me an email
and let me know? I love pennies as I believe they are gifts from
angels, they even carry the words: “In God we trust”. Do you think
perchance that I was being given a message???? I do.

I want to share a pretty cool video with you today.

It talks about the 5 natural emotions that we all experience
as humans in our day-to-day life and interaction with others.

Many of us keep these emotions inside instead of embracing
and accepting them. In some cases, however, even our emotions
that seem “negative” can be used as motivation to transform your
life for the better.

You can watch the video here:
http://www.globalwellnessblog.com/2013/04/30/video-the-5-natural-emotions/

I know Mother’s Day was last week but I didn’t want to wait until
next year to send you this tribute to mothers all over the world.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/family-life/son-surprises-mom-with-house-on-mothers-day.html

One more…I wanted you to know about this recording. I listen
to this in my car and feel such joy continuing in my life even
when I am not listening to it. The day after, I woke up with
joy and even laughed at myself in the mirror. I found myself
singing silly ditties during the day also. Just listen to some
of it and it is free to download if you choose.

http://www.eraofpeace.org/important-information/resources/musical-rapture-mp3/

Love and Light

Mary Grace
www.IAmMaryGrace.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html

PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977

PREYED UPON?

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Beloved,

I am in the midst of another snowstorm which I would not mind but
somehow I “lost” the message I was writing to you. The energies are
having fun playing with me again. I think they are smiling as they
try to see if I still have my patience or am I losing it? Answer:
I am not sure. I will try again.

I received a call yesterday from a person named Daniel and I could
hardly make out what he was saying. His accent was very strong and
I kept telling him I did not know what he was saying. After repeated
tries, through spelling I found out he was with “1 Stop Earcade”
What that is I don’t know and I still don’t know positively but I
have my suspicions. He said my computer was downloading “malicious”
files and soon my computer would be so full that it will crash. I
was astounded and did not believe him as I still could not figure out
how he knew my computer was slowing down and how he even came by
my phone number. Come to think of it, He never mentioned my name
so I don’t know whether he knew it or not. He hit me in a very
deep place of fear, the computer and my lack of knowledge of how
it works. He called it an “awareness” call????? from this company
in NY. I asked what city but was only able to determine it is
Valleycotteve which I have never heard of but he spelled it for me
twice.

My solar plexus was doing push ups and I was feeling queezy. My
mind had to be focused on what he was trying to tell me so there was
not much left to do any rational thinking. Finally he told me to
go to my computer and put in some letters and he would be able to
diagnose the problem and fix it. My reasoning mind knew not to let
any person into my computer that I did not know or trust. It is even
scary for me to do that even with a technician that I CALLED.

He told me how to get into Run and put prefetch in that section. I
knew I was safe as long as I was doing it so I did. There were many
files and he asked me if any of them were familiar. I had to admit
that I did not recognize any and he said these were all “malicious”
files. I still would let him into my computer so he told me to
go back to RUN and insert “msconfig” and then click on services which
showed many I did recognize but some were running and some were
stopped. He said already things were being shut down and
it would not be long before my computer crashed.

I finally drew a long breath and said I would not do anything until
I speak to my younger son Bruce who knows a lot about computers. We
had already been on the phone for 20 minutes as conversation was so
difficult. Daniel (a strange name for someone from India?) wanted to
call me back in five minutes but I said: “No, give me a half hour.”
He had given me the phone number of his company and I asked what
this was going to cost and he said:”Nothing for the diagnosis but
there is a charge if they need to fix it and he did not determine
that”. The phone number is 1-888-514-1650.

My heart was pounding so much and my brain was not entirely free to
make decisions. When someone backs me into a deep fear, my mind
goes blank and it takes time for me to be coherent. I called Bruce
and told him what had happened. He checked and the web said this
company was a telemarketer and there were many complaints against it.

Thank goodness I could call me son for some guidance. He was furious
and suggested I tell Daniel that he(my son)would like to have his computer
diagnosed and then my son could check him out and see if actually
was on the up and up and if not, he would take of the situation.
Bruce and I talked for about a half an hour when my phone rang. I
was kind of hoping he would not call back. I asked Daniel about
checking out my son’s computer but he said he could only call the
phone numbers that he was told to call. I told him he was a
telemarketer and I wanted nothing to do with him. He denied it and
kept insisting that my computer was in danger but I finally told him
to delete me and my phone number from his list and if called me
again I would report it to the police and then I hung up.

My son later called the number I had been given and it was the
technical department: the R&D development, of this company and they
could tell him nothing. As I read what I wrote about this episode in
my life, I wonder why I ever even considered doing what I was asked
to do. It seems so obvious now but it was not when I was going
through it. Has this ever happened to you? These scammers seem to
know exactly what they need to say to convince you. Thank you
Angels for taking care of me when I was unable to.

I would like to believe that I would never have allowed him into my
computer even if my son had not been home. It was quite an
experience and now I have a deeper knowing of how people get conned
or scammed. Before this experience I was (cocky?) sure that I
could not be scammed but now I am not so sure. Fear is probably the
wrong word to use for what I felt. It is my lack of knowledge and
my knowing THAT I am not comfortable with all the computer does and
is capable of doing and so it leaves me at a disadvantage and I feel
powerless. I tend to believe people when they give me suggestions
about the computer because I feel that everyone knows more than me.

My brain seems to be programmed to take computer suggestions from
others and sometimes it leads me into websites that I don’t want.
Even google leads me on a merry chase as I seek information. I guess
I was more disappointed in myself for not seeing the scam coming.
Perhaps it is my ego that is a little deflated but I did not “feel”
any danger from this man except I know enough not to let anyone into
my computer any more than I would let a stranger into my bank account.

I am telling you this so you will be forewarned if this man or company
calls you. I also need to acknowledge that my halo slipped down and
I am not so all knowing in my own eyes. Another thing I am uncomfortable
with is my lack of sensing any danger, my 6th sense did not warn me
but now that I am thinking about it, my 3rd chakra was screaming
at me. Yet, even when my son is working on my computer, I am very
uncomfortable because computer based people do things with little
thought and then I have no way to understand what they did or how to
undo it. I am comfortable if I can delete something that I down
loaded but if I don’t know how to “undo”, I am uneasy.

I have gained a lot from this experience and hope you never have
to experience it. My wish for you is that you learn from what
happened to me. This was a first for me and I need some
laughter right about now. How about you?

An Oldie but Goodie

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=MnignqBw4CY

Another one to make you laugh out loud.

Subject: Where Babies Come From? Its Priceless….

Have the sound on high and listen to every word ….
it’s simply hilarious!!

http://pinterest.com/pin/176484879119087219/

Hey, it finally stopped snowing. Now I just need to wait for
the plow to do my street and then the young men who do my driveway
will be able to come and get me open again. Thank you for letting
me share my “scary” experience with you and I will take the storm
ending as a sign that ALL IS WELL!

Love and Light

Mary Grace

www.IAmMaryGrace.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html

PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977