Category Archives: Fears

OUR BIRTHDAY OF FREEDOM

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Beloved,

Happy 4th of July, the United States’ Birthday of Freedom.

Freedom is what everything is all about. If you do not feel free then you are not free. We humans put ourselves in all of these boxes beginning with what sex you are. Then comes race, culture, status, beliefs, opinions, perspectives, and on and on. Why do we box ourselves in? Is it only fear and if so, what is the fear? All of this fighting and turmoil in the world is about someone being different than who we are. Why cannot we humans just accept that each of us is unique thus we ARE different and that uniqueness is beautiful and interesting? How bored would we be if we were all were the same? We would not be able to tell ourselves apart from anyone else. Just because you are different does not mean you are taking anything away from anyone else and yet, there is fear that the other person might take something away from us just by being different. Why do we all have to be the same to feel safe on this beautiful planet? There is safety in being unique. When we allow ourselves to be unique then we allow and accept that in others.

Let us honor ourselves and this free country we live in. Parents are willing to give up their children that they might have the freedom we Americans have. Why or why do we not value and appreciate it? So many people complain about our government, whether local or national. Even our own congress is so busy fighting against a perceived enemy in the opposite party that it is setting a standard of fear and judgment. Please take a moment to see and appreciate where you are now and the safety that this beautiful country provides. Let’s give our congress the perfect model of cooperation just by accepting ourselves and all others. After all, we are one species on one planet. If the powers to be cannot be an example to us then let us be an example to them.

The Chinese are not only the inventors of the fireworks they are still the masters. The Hunan Province town is where fireworks were invented and the show has never been equaled in the West. Relax and simply enjoy the creation of another human being regardless of where they live.

> http://www.youtube.com/embed/_LpMB1OZ53g?feature=player_detailpage%22%20frameborder=%220%22%20allowfullscreen%3e%3c/iframe%3e&autoplay=1″

My stomach had so many butterflies in it the day of my next swimming lesson. I would be wearing my wetsuit and I was feeling so different from the others who did not need to wear extra gear to stay warm in the lap pool. (Talk about being unique, it takes courage to be unique and a lot of deep breaths) I even put on my wet suit and went in my lake to try it out. I was soooo surprised that I did not feel cold. The woman who does the weekly test to make sure the water is pure told me that it was 77 degrees so that means in the pool which is 80 degrees, I should not be cold. Yet I was still nervous to wear the wetsuit and get in the cooler pool. I finally came to terms with: if this did not keep me warm enough I just would leave the class and perhaps take private lessons in the warm pool although that would not be conquering my fear of being over my head in the water as the warm pool never goes over my head.

The teacher was late and I did not want to get in the pool with the other three students because I was not sure just how long I could stay warm and I wanted to save that time for learning. I finally jumped in the pool with the others and, SURPRISE, I was not cold. In fact, I did not get cold until the class was almost done. I did well as all my practicing the week before kicked in. We learned the dead man’s float and also a swimming stroke. There is only so much you can learn in 45 minutes; that is why the practice is so important.

We only have three more lessons and the teacher promised us we would be swimming in the deepest part before we end the classes. Sooooo, we still have to learn how to swim and take breaths, as for now, we are only taking a deep breath and exhaling bubbles from our nose while our faces are in the water and then we stop gliding, floating or swimming and come up for air. I practice in the warm pool right now so I don’t have to put on my wetsuit. My goal is to swim in the lake when the water is warm enough without a wetsuit, and without the swim cap and only ear plugs and goggles. I am so looking forward to my freedom.

Here is an astounding video and song on Surrender. Enjoy and let your spirits be lifted.

http://gilalan.com/Reconnect_Journey_Final_Class_Ida.html

This is a story of Nigeria teens who invented something that all of us have but they have put it to good use. Would it not be wonderful to end the energy crisis and all the wars fought over them? There is such hope for the world after all.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/photo-day-nigerian-teens-make-urine-powered-generator/

Enjoy the fireworks whether you are there in person or watching on the TV. I hope you enjoyed the fireworks above (did you notice the symbol of love being shown many times?)

—
Love and Light

Mary Grace

http://www.IAmMaryGrace.com
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com
http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html

WHAT FEAR IS STILL KEEPING YOU FROM YOUR FREEDOM

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Beloved,

I am just realizing that my spiritual journey back to myself began many years ago. I was “terrified” of spiders as my older brother used to torture me with them. One Sunday I was at the beach with friends and I was lying down on a blanket with my young toddler so he would take a nap. Suddenly, I saw a spider crawling on his back and I just got up and ran away from him. It was instinctual with no forethought. Of course, my son was startled and ran after me and that made me run even faster. I finally took a breath and realized I had terrorized my own son. How could a mother run away when her son was in danger? I was mortified and ashamed of my action and it caused me to look at my own fears. If my love for my son was not enough to protect him, I needed to do something about FEAR.

We were living in a project (low income housing) and I had no dryer so I had to hang clothes outside. When they froze, I had to bring them back in and hang them in a hallway so they could thaw. Of course, this dampness drew many spiders especially daddy-long-legs which were the scariest to me of all spiders. When I saw one, I would take a deep breath and run for one of my husband’s shoes as I could not bear to use my own shoes because then I would need to wear them. It took two years for me to conquer that fear enough to use my own shoes to kill them. But I DID IT! My love for my son enabled me to have the courage to face my biggest fear. ) Today, as a Reiki Master, I honor all life even spiders)

I then, one at a time, looked at my fears and faced them down but with LOVE. Love for myself as I was not truly free until each and every one was conquered. Right now, I am facing down my fear of putting my face in the water. When I was around 8 or 9 years old, I was at a lake and I decided this was the day that I would reach the raft, I felt like I was strong enough to swim that distance. I did make the raft but every time I would put my hand on the stairs to climb up, some boys would push me away. They thought it was a game. I knew I was drowning as I just got too tired to stay afloat. I passed out and when I came too, I was alone on the raft. I have no idea how I got up on it, I am assuming that the boys realized I was in trouble and got me up there but then were too embarrassed to wait for me to come to.

Of course, I was too scared after that to ever go over my head in water. In fact, I could not float without a noodle, my feet needed to be able to touch ground. I just learned two weeks ago the secret to floating. Imagine all these years and I have not been able to float. A friend who I did not know was a swimming instructor in the past, told me to put my ears in the water. I tried it and my feet came right up. You are never too old to learn.

Ocean State Job Lot had wet suits for $20 and when they offered 25% off for seniors one week, I took a deep breath and bought one. I thought well, I have wasted $15 on other things so I was ready to try. I don’t go in cold water so I also do not have the freedom to go in the lake until August. Maybe this wet suit would solve that concern and fear. I went on line to find more info about them and when I went to try it on, the zipper would not come down. I have no idea why but it was stuck really tight, so I brought it back and got one with a zipper that worked, I tried it before I bought it. Was the Universe trying to tell me to not do this? I did not know but I had to try everything before I gave up. I managed to get it on and off which I felt good about but I still could not muster the courage to go into the lake with it on. That was when I received a booklet in the mail about the YMCA and I decided to give that a try.

I made up my mind that this summer I would swim in my own lake. Watching others swim with so much ease and freedom makes my heart sink. I joined the YMCA where they have two pools, one is a lap people kept at 81 degrees and over my head at one end and another warm pool which is not over my head but kept at 90 degrees. Two weeks ago, I began going to the warm pool to do exercises for arthritis and I just LOVE warm water.

I checked out the opportunities and found that I could take swimming lessons but it would have to be in the lap pool. I had my first lesson with three other people last Tuesday. I had done my research and had goggles and swimming cap and also ear plugs. My goggles were too tight and the cap kept pressing the ear plugs into my ears, very painful. On top of that my body would not stop shaking, I was so cold. I can hold my breath for quite a while as I meditate so I am used to that but he wanted us not to hold our breath but to blow bubbles out of our nose. I could hardly do that for any time at all so I kept breathing the water up my nose. It was not a fun experience, I will tell you that.

But I am stubborn and I try to keep the commitments I make to others and to myself. I was not ready to give up on my dream of swimming in my own lake this summer. I asked if I could wear my wetsuit next week and was told yes. You see, I have wanted to learn to swim for so long so I tried to think of all that would help me achieve that dream. In the meantime, I bought a cap that will fit over my ears so I don’t need ear plugs and I found and bought another pair of goggles which keeps the water out of my eyes. I have been practicing breathing through my nose every time I went to the warm pool for exercise. Either I practice before or after the exercise program. Yesterday, I finally realized that I could open my eyes under water and I felt a rush of freedom. I had been concentrating so much on breathing and I always closed my eyes under water so I never even realized that it would be safe to open my eyes. Talk about baby steps, it takes all these small steps to conquer any fear but most of all it takes commitment to yourself and your dreams.

WHAT FEAR IS STILL KEEPING YOU FROM YOUR FREEDOM?

Do you love yourself as much as this dog loved his family? You are worth it and you are loved.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/dog-emerges-tahoe-forest-2-years-reunites-family/

Can you imagine being hugged by this young girl and feeling the love she has for you? Hug yourself and allow yourself to feel the love you have in your heart for the being that is you. You are worthy and you deserve the same love that you give to others.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/girl-gives-hugs-suicide-prevention-walks/

You can change your perspective and become who you are really meant to be. If he can, so can YOU. See yourself as this child and know that you are taken care of and nurtured by some unlikely beings that are put on your path just for you to know how much you are loved. Even when they don’t appear exactly as you expected angels to look like.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ex-con-saves-baby-side-georgia-road-plays-gospel-music-calm/

—
Love and Light

Mary Grace

http://www.IAmMaryGrace.com
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com
http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html

BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN

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Beloved,

Looking out after a snow storm brings so many inspirations to me. I realized that this morning after this storm dropped over a foot of snow two days ago and now the plows are done and the streets are passable. AS I look out I saw the defined pathways of streets and driveways. I never noticed that before. Without the snow, we humans only notice that everything seems to blend in so we pay attention to what is in our minds. As I looked, I realized that storms, either physical or emotional, leaves a blanket effect on most everything. This morning I could only see the patterns of pathways (openings) because everything else was covered in snow and the walls of snow themselves obliterated all the other surrounding points of interest.

Is this what happens in our life? Do the storms bring clarity of which road to take? The pathways were so clearly defined that there were no distractions. I pray that all the storms in my life be preceded by the peace and comfort of knowing I am safe. I am inside a warm house with plenty of food being given the opportunity to rest while the storm rages outside. Yes, after the storm comes the clean up but it does not take long and we have an entirely point of view or perspective of what our world looked like before it was blanketed.

Just when I think I have peace, something else pops up that I thought I had dealt with and had achieved peace with. My first marriage ended because of my daughter being violated by her father. That was hell to go through and it took me a whole year to find the peace I was looking for I HATED him with my whole being. Hate is such a strong word and people use it all too lightly. You can’t hate until you have loved. The hate is as intense as the love was. I now understand the emotion of hate that had consumed me. It touched all who were in my life and I craved for release from it. It just wouldn’t go away as there were reminders everywhere I turned.

I went on a retreat being held in the evenings at my church and on the 6th night, I was blown away. The priest was a very diminutive figure, very short and of small build. All of a sudden, he began to glow and he grew in size. I was flabberghasted and I looked around the other people to see if they were seeing what I was seeing. They were not. I shook my head, kept changing positions but nothing stopped what I was seeing. All of a sudden, I began to cry, what Oprah calls the ugly cry. No one paid attention because at a retreat there is a lot of release which comes with tears. I felt the hate leave me and the love that I yearned for came back into my being. I could finally FEEL love which I had missed for that whole year as the hate consumed me. It changed my whole life and I was able to handle all the necessary affairs and get on with my life.

A few days ago, a woman who I know who is a medium, had a vision of my husband around me. I did not want him anywhere near me. She said: “But who is going to protect you?” I said: “Yeshua, Mother Mary, ARchangel Michael, ARchange Raphael, St Germaine of the Violet Flame and many others!” I did not like the feeling that was left with me. I still felt the violation of what he had done to me and my daughter and the memories sprang back up. I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN RID OF THAT. I could not free myself of the feelings of betrayal and guilt of not knowing the best way to handle things in that crisis. I would do things differently today.

Yesterday I was told that I had a Level 3 Sex Offender on my street. WHAT? That is an offender of children so the emotions came back full force. I talked to a couple of people who confirmed what I had just discovered. There are only three year round houses on my street so I called the one who was not housing the offender because she has two teenage daughters and I wanted to protect them by making her aware of it. She already knew about it so I did not go any further. Each adult or parent has to make the decisions for their family, my only concern was for the children and I just wanted to make them aware. Now comes the real work of letting the past go and with LOVE which I am having a hard time doing. I have forgiven my exhusband but love him, I don’t think so. I don’t even LIKE him. Darn it, I thought this part of my life was behind me.

I wish to love every soul as I know that every soul comes from God and is a part of God. We are all ONE so that means he is a part of me also. Can you see my mind and heart racing around? If this has come back, it means I have not completely cleared it from myself. I will play with all of this until I can come to grips with it and let my mind and heart be at peace.

What do I get in the mail today but this poem from Louise Hay? I am sharing it with you.

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,

it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off,

it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow

learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,

which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another,

it is to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,

but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead

to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,

but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and love more.

I am healed and whole.

I would also like to share a very inspiring Russian in a Moscow trolley singing “Amazing Grace” in a surprise mob scene(I don’t know the correct wording) for the passengers. It really does lift your spirits and make you smile.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/s_IHDJQudmo?rel=0 —-–

I had some wonderful things happen to me this week also. This beautiful young man, a single father, took my computer and redid the whole thing. Quite a feat. He had some surprises for me too. He put the picture of a beautiful angel, white with a purple background, right where I need to put my password. When I saw it, I could feel the energy coming from it, I did not even want to put in my password because then she would go away. When I finally did, I was greeted with some of his original creations of art. They are all beautiful and very hard to describe but I will try. One is of course, purple with rays of light and what looks like a shower of stars or a meteor shower.. One which I call Christ Consciousness is purple ray background and in the center is what reminds me of a Monstrance, the beautiful golden carrier of the Blessed Sacrament in the Catholic Church. All of the spikes of gold with sparkling and golden rays shooting right into my heart. I have a hard time opening my computer because all I want to do is be enveloped by the energy coming from that beautiful painting.

Isn’t it wonderful that we have BOTH the challenging and the inspiring opportunities in our daily life. Sometimes it is difficult but the only way through is to be aware and accept them both as they are both liberating and heart warming. Enjoy whatever comes your way even if you sometimes have to step back into something you really did not expect.

—
Love and Light

Mary Grace

 

http://www.IAmMaryGrace.com

http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com

http://www.waleson5.com/marygrace.html