Beloved,
I never thought I would live to see this day. When I heard on the news that Pope Francis was seriously looking into having women deacons in the Catholic Church, I almost choked. When I was a little girl, the biggest thrill for me was to be able to go to church every morning during Lent.. At that time, we had to fast from Midnight on before receiving Communion so my mom would make me egg salad sandwiches with hot cocoa which I would bring with me and eat after Mass and Communion. Now that I am an adult, I realize that I probably could have gone to Mass every day even if it was not in Lent, but at that age, I was only thankful that I could do it during that special time.
I fell in love with Jesus (Jeshua) and he was the only one I prayed to. God, he was OK, Mother Mary, she was OK but Jesus, HE was my guy. Do you know that I have a license plate on my car that reads: JESUS IS MY GUY. No kidding. Back as a child, little girls were not allowed up on the altar. Only boys could as altar boys as they were called then. Today the little girls get to go up on the altar and all of them are called altar servers. It certainly was a male dominated era. Even though, the nuns were female and taking care of the altar, they were allowed only to do the work so the priests could do what was considered important. It sounds so medieval as I write this.
20 years ago, I achieved my dream of being on the altar where things look so different as you see the altar more clearly without all the people’s heads in the way. And you see the rest of the church from a different angle. Before this, I always tried to sit in the front pew so I could “feel” more like I was part of the ceremony taking place.
Since I was young, I have been terrified of microphones. In fact, at one house party with other married friends, they liked to pass around a microphone to everyone but I always went to the bathroom when it was my turn. Evidently that was noticed and one night, before I could get away, they pushed the microphone in front of my face. Guess what I did? I broke down in the “ugly” cry, I was so terrified. I was so embarrassed. I was terrified of spiders too and many other things. When I got more mature, I made a promise to myself that I would conquer all my fears. After all, they were just in my head, weren’t they?
My brother tortured me with spiders as a child so I concentrated on that fear first. I would use my husband’s shoes for a year which was a big step as I would usually run from them. Then I graduated to using my own shoes and eventually graduated to accepting them and left them alone to be who they were. I became a Reiki Master which meant taking vows to honor ALL life including the insects and spiders. I found out later that they are a symbol for money or abundance.
I then focused on conquering my fear of public speaking and microphones. First I joined Toastmasters, a group where you learn to speak in front of others which of course meant handling and dealing with a microphone. I even won a humorous contest in Toastmasters while going through a divorce. I was on my way. I became a Eucharist Minister who gives Communion so that I could face people one on one and give them such a precious gift at the same time. Then I became a lector at church which terrified me, it meant facing the whole congregation. In Toastmasters, I only had to face other people who had the same fear. The first time, I was so nervous and my stomach and knees let me know that. I was still shaking after Mass when people kept coming up to me and saying: “I could hear you. I could understand you!”. I suddenly realized that my greatest fear was my greatest gift to the world. It seems my voice resonates at a tone that even the hard of hearing can hear clearly. What an awakening that was. With those two skills, I was allowed on the altar.
I remember when my church put out the ad looking for prospective deacons only a short 10 years ago. I asked about female deacons but they were not even in consideration at that time. I guess I am a female rebel at heart as I believe that all people should be considered equal. I am not able physically to fulfill the role of deacon now but I am ecstatic that other women will have the opportunity to participate in the religious ceremonies in a deeper capacity. Hoorah! Another win for womanhood and another big milestone conquered. Have you noticed just how much women have gained the right to be equal, at least in the USA. We even have a female Presidential Candidate. NOW, let’s spread it around the world.
I have tried hard to conquer all my weaknesses but have to admit, I still have more to go. I liked this message from Eckhart Tolle and his explanation of why we still have some lingering challenges.
A solution to the chaos that is happening world wide.
Why was this not published on the media?
What a wonderful way to display reciprocity although it was not the original intent.
THERE IS A BRIDGE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho92k2CKNh0
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Love and Light
Mary Grace
http://www.IAmMaryGrace.com
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com