I was not invited to join in sitting with my granddaughter’s
partner, my great grandson nor my daughter in the seating
for the commencement of my granddaughter’s graduation
from college.
With 602 graduates and all their family and friends, I knew
I would not be able to locate them so I just found a place
right behind the graduates’ seating so I could see her when
she received her diploma and was walking back to her seat.
One good thing about being alone is that you can always find
a seat up front because there is always one space that has not
been filled because most are looking for two or more spaces.
The celebration was not for another four hours. I spent that
time shopping as they needed to rest after all the activities
that were held all weekend for the graduates.
I was a little uncomfortable at the beginning not knowing
what to expect but everyone was friendly
and my youngest son was there and that helped. My
daughter was helping inside the house and as they had
two cats, I was unable to enter to greet the others.
A circle of chairs had been set up around the fire pit
so I headed there. I spoke to people around there and
mingled in other gatherings around the yard. I did not know
what to expect from my daughter or how I would react.
I had nothing to worry about because not once in the
three hours I was there would she meet my gaze. I only
wanted to smile at her so she would know there was no
animosity but she did not give me the opportunity.
She had set up the boundaries of not wanting any
communication with me so I did not feel right
in crossing those lines and perhaps creating a scene
at my granddaughter’s college graduation party.
I am proud of my granddaughter for having the
courage to go against her mother’s wishes of not
having me there. My hope is that the other
people there were not aware of the drama or
should I say non-drama that was unfolding.
I came home feeling quite empty and alone.
The next day, I stayed in bed most of the day.
I did not want to face life nor did I have the
necessary energy to force myself to get up and do
something about it.
I received a call from a friend asking if she could
come over and I said sure. I had a sense that perhaps
she could use some healing or encouragement. She has
had some traumatic health issues and is caring for her
parents who are in their late 80’s.
To my surprise, and I mean surprise, she came bearing
a gift for me. She was not here to receive but to give,
of her love and time and prayers.
I was flabberghasted, pleased and reduced to tears that
I was trying to hold back. She had made a Prayer Shawl
for me and it was lavendar. I put it around me and felt
all the prayers and love of the many people who pray
as they knit these prayer shawls.
How could I feel sorry for myself with such evidence that
I was loved and cared for. I usually am the one who prays
for others and am asked to intercede for many people
going through their challenges.
I had not even thought to ask for prayers for myself but she,
Katie Plouffe, had read my previous newsletters and knew
I was having a hard time emotionally. She decided to knit
me a prayer shawl for which I am eternally grateful.
I have an altar, a meditation chair and a prayer space
which is so perfect for this symbol of Love. I have been
using it every day and sometimes more whenever I start
to think about my perceived loss.
We are all ONE so noone can be lost or separate. For a while,
some of us walk a different path but they are not lost and we
are still together in Spirit even if they are not aware of it.
I know in my heart that someday I will be reunited with my
beloved daughter. If not in the physical, then in the hereafter.
WE are all one ocean which is comprised of many drops and
all drops eventually are reunited as one ocean which is God.
Love and Light,
Mary Grace
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com/blog
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com/blog
http://www.TheWoundedChalice.com/blog
3 Brows Beach Dr
PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977