Tag Archives: Humor

APRIL FOOL’S JOKE (ON YOU?)

Posted on by

Happy April Fool’s Day ! Is the joke on you?

A Northeaster storm was predicted for today. I was
not too thrilled because I wanted to see my youngest
son inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa society tonight
and it is about three quarters of an hour away.

So…I asked Mother Nature if she could veer the storm
away to the mountains which would love the snow and
the skiers would be ever so grateful. She has done this
before so I was not asking for the impossible even if I
do believe in miracles. Did not Jesus say: “Ask and you
shall receive!” How often we forget to ask for what we
want.

It started snowing last night and when I got up this morning
it was still snowing and there was about 3 inches of snow on
the ground. Since the pavement retains the heat, it melted on
my driveway after a while and only stuck to my grass and
deck and stoop which I needed to shovel. I got an answer
to my request and I feel like April Fool’s Day did a switch
and gave me what I wanted. It has stopped snowing so
all is well for tonight.

I do need to say that the snow did require me to cancel
an appointment to have my deck checked out today by a
contractor but it will be done next week. A teleseminar
that I was looking forward to attending was delayed
at the last minute until next week. So the tricks are
still being played but I realize that Mercury is in retrograde
so that accounts for a lot of miscommunication.

Let us be like a child that looks forward to April Fool’s
Day or any other occasion for some laughter and
lighhearted fun.

What kind of a trick was played on you today?

I am sometimes too serious when I set a project for
myself so this link gave me a realization of just what
life is all about. Let’s BE instead of DO.

http://www.flickspire.com/m/ IAAW/LifeIsLikeCoffee

Love and Light

Mary Grace
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com /blog
[email protected]

PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977

WORRYING

Posted on by

I am a little late with this newsletter but I am here.
Yesterday I went to a Home Show where all the
contractors you would like to speak to you about
your home improvement project are there. Do you
have a project in mind for this time as Spring is finally
here?

There is so much I do not know and I know my oldest
son tries to answer all my questions but it is frustrating
for him as he is a doer not a teacher even though he tries
valiantly. I go to this yearly show just to get the
many questions I have answered and by experts.

I was planning on getting a new deck this year as mine
needs painting every two years and I wish to be without
that job. I want a deck that never needs painting even if
that means I need to give up my purple deck. Yet, there
has been so many projects that arose this past winter, that
I just may have to paint it again this year until I can financially
afford a new deck.

The contractors are great and some of them offered to
come give me an estimate anyway. At least, I will
have a ball park figure for the future and I am hoping
one of them who is a painter also may paint it for me.

I almost did not go as I know my finances are low
but I remembered a quote from Abraham Hicks:
“Worrying is using your imagination to create something
you DON”T want”. That quote struck such a chord in
me as it brought home to me the truth.

Look back at the worry you have and see just what you
are creating. We could better use our imagination if we
focused on what we DO want. The Secret says that in
other words but it means the same. Focus on the good
or positive and that is what you will create. Sooooo, I
went so I could focus on what I want and let the Universe
do what it wills.

Maybe I will win the lottery, of course, I have to buy a
ticket first. The Universe or God works that way too.
In order to get what we want, we need to take an action
that will create it. We never know what tomorrow may
bring but we can put our two cents worth in just by
imaging what it is we want.

Let’s make a pact not to give our imagination our worry,
it gives us what we do not want. In fact, let us cease
worrying. For me, I will ask my angels to gently remind
me when I am worrying so I can break the habit. Who
will you ask to help you?

I will be speaking and having a booth at the Whole
Health Expo in Northampton on April 16th and 17th.
I am giving you some links so you can check it out
in case you are interested.

Expo hours and location

Exhibit hall:
Saturday April 16: 9:30am-6pm
Sunday April 17: 9:30am-4pm
Location:
Clarion Hotel
One Atwood Dr. Northampton, MA
Take I-91 Mass. to exit 18. Click here for custom driving directions

Whole Health Expo April 16-17, 2011

Whole Health Expo Many Hands

Online ticket sales have started! Click here
to see the program guide or here to buy tickets.
Save gas — share a ride! We have a new page
on Ridebuzz.

I wanted to leave you with a smile. Are you hitting yourself
on the head hoping to create something different for yourself?

It is so unusual to get a funny, non political, non sexist, non racist, and non doomsday message that I wanted to make your day by sending it along!
I know you’ll enjoy it.

THE POTTY……

A FOUR YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.
HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT’S UP.

THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: “BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU’VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE.” >

BILLY SAYS: “I’M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN’T GONE POTTY YET.”
MOTHER SAYS: “OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?”

BILLY SAYS: “WORKS FOR KETCHUP.”

Love and Light

Mary Grace
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com/blog
[email protected]

PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977

TAMPON HUMOR IN THE FACE OF WAR

Posted on by

Whew!!!!! I have decided on the vehicle I wish to
purchase and it is now up to my mechanic who is
returning tomorrow after being closed for his yearly
vacation. If I get the go ahead then I will proceed
with getting a loan. I have already been in touch
with a bank so I have an idea who I will give my
business to.

Was I surprised to find out that you can submit an
application for a loan online. I don’t know why I was
surprised but I was. I DID try to submit it but it kept
asking me for my employer but as I am retired I don’t
have one. So much for the new offers on the computer,
you just can’t beat being face to face at the bank with
a human you can talk to and someone who can answer
your questions. .

I decided to take my kayak out for a jaunt today, it
has been three weeks since I have been out on the
water and I miss it. Car hunting takes a lot of mental
stamina and when I get back home, I just don’t feel like
using up any more energy. The mental gymnastics use
more energy than any physical activity. Yeah…. it is
coming to a close and I can get back to enjoying
the summer.

I am sure you don’t want to hear any more about
the tedious job of car shopping but I did want to
share this article with you. It made me laugh and it
confirmed our human ingenuity. We can have
a sense of humor even in the face of war.

Please read the whole thing……. You’ll love it
I am reminded that “God Works in Mysterious Ways ”

Tampons (A TRUE STORY)

Tampons to the rescue in Iraq !! Don’t worry, it’s a good story, and worth reading. It’s even humorous in parts. It’s from the mother of a Marine in Iraq .

My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them from the ladies auxiliary were and wanted me to tell everyone thank you.

He said that one guy we’ll call Marine X, got a female care package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said, ‘Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him.’ I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send something to him, he shares it with Marine X.

He said when my husband and I sent the last care package, Marine X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it, and said, ‘What’d we get this time?’

But my son said they had the most fun with Marine X’s package. He said he wasn’t sure who it was supposed to go to, but the panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and yelled, ‘Look at me, I’m an Airborne Ranger!!!!’

One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for quite awhile. Then of course…… .they had those tampons. When he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he continued.

My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the Chap-Stick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was teasing him about ‘not forgetting his feminine hygiene products.’

He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first aid but couldn’t get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, ‘Hey! Use Marine X’s tampons!’ My son said they put the tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told Me, ‘Mom, did you know that tampons expand?’ (‘Well….yeah! ‘)

They successfully slowed the bleeding until the guy got better medical attention. When they went to check on him later, the surgeon told them, ‘You guys saved his life. If you hadn’t stopped that bleeding he would have bled to death.’ My Son said, ‘Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by mistake saved a Marine’s life.’

At this point I asked him, ‘Well, what did you do with the rest of the tampons?’

He said, ‘Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our flak jackets, and I kept two for our first aid kit.’

I am absolutely amazed by the ingenuity of our Marines. I can’t believe that something that started out as a mistake then turned into a joke, ended up saving someone’s life. My sister said she doesn’t believe in mistakes. She believes God had a plan all along. She believes that ‘female care package’ was sent to Marine X to save our Marine.

Either way, our efforts have boosted the morale of many Marines, provided much needed items for our troops, AND saved the life of a Marine! God bless every one of you for your efforts and hard work, and God bless our Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force and all our military service personnel.

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND KEEP IT SAFE!

Love and Light
Mary Grace
www.TheWoundedChalice.com
www.TheWoundedChalice.com/blog
[email protected]

3 Brows Beach Dr
PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977