*A Mother’s Sorrow/Love* is something I can no longer hide from
even myself. I have pretended and thought I had released the
sorrow of being asked not to contact my daughter again.
It became known to me this past week that my son-in-law, my
only daughter’s husband was quite ill, in fact on his death bed.
My mother’s heart went out to my daughter, my little girl. I
have known the loss of a loved one but the hardest one to bear
was the loss of my daughter even though she is still living on this
earth.
A Mother’s Love wants only to comfort and ease the pain of her
loved ones. That was the first emotion I felt when I heard the news.
Then I realized that there was no way I could comfort her. My
love tried to go underground so it would not hurt so much.
It did not work. I was still in mourning over the loss of my
daughter and there was no way I could ease that within myself.
I had a choice to make. I could call her or go to the Memorial
Service but I realized that those choices would only add to her
pain. I had been asked not to make contact with her and I had
respected her wishes throughout her life, how could I go against
what she so obviously wanted?
As a mother, I have always put my children’s wishes before my
own. How could I go against what would bring her the most
comfort? Which was not to have me there as a reminder of
other pain she has endured.
I could not!
My boys, her brothers, would be there and so I had some
small comfort in that fact. We would not be a family as
someone, me, would be missing from the equation. Yet,
at least there would part of her family with her.
Since I believe my life’s mission was to be a mother, I never
expected to be thrown away by one of my own children.
I love them all with as much humanly love as is possible even
though they are all grown and living their own lives.
The Divine Feminine is so embodied in me that Her motherly
love shines through me to all I meet. My daughter and her
husband are Atheists. In her mind, I represent God and she
is so angry with Him that she is angry at anyone who
she perceives as representing Him/Her.
I must confess that I did overstep the boundaries she set by
sending her a card that was very simple and did not have any
Spiritual overtones whatsoever. It just mentioned Memories
and to remember them. I signed it simply as “Mom”.
Do you think I overstepped her boundaries? I would love to
hear any comments you might have.
Love and Light,
3 Brows Beach Dr
PO Box 403
Wales, MA 01081, USA
413-245-3977